Dear Abby: My family abandoned me after I had a massive heart attack

Dear ABBY: Six years ago, my family lost my mother, who was the rock of our family. Two weeks after that, my family started falling apart.

My older brother, younger sister and I don’t speak anymore. My brother and I got into a physical fight and haven’t spoken since.

A year later, I had a massive heart attack. I was at death’s door. My doctors said it was a miracle I survived.

I am blessed to be here, but since then, no family member has been able to reach out. The story of my survival was spread all over social media and even on some TV news. My heart function is low and I have a defibrillator implanted.

I have missed my family more and more, but I am also afraid of breaking my heart.

We have made mistakes and I know that I am also guilty. I feel terrible about what happened, but I’m hurt that no one reached out to my wife or daughter to ask if I was okay or if they needed anything.

Recently I have had some contact with my brother’s son and we have been texting but I have not heard from my brother yet.

My family is growing with grandchildren and I would like to reconnect our families before it is too late. Is it too late? – STRANGERS IN PENNSYLVANIA

Dear foreigners: Maybe, maybe not. If you haven’t already, write or call your brother and formally apologize for what happened between you.

While you’re at it, do the same with other members of your family. Tell them you’re sorry that none of you are getting any younger and you’d like to be part of the family again.

I can’t predict the outcome, but this would be a good start. I wish you luck. Over time, people sometimes gain a better perspective.

Dear ABBY: My sister “Mary Ann” is a hoarder. She refuses all offers of help (physical and emotional) to clear her home of the overwhelming amount of things that negatively affect her life.

Our extended family is excited to finally start making the effort to sort through some of her “treasures”.

Unfortunately, we have now become recipients of birthday and Christmas presents, some of which are opened, used, dusty and stuffed with animal fur. We do not want or need these “gifts”.

I think that offloading these items to us gives Mary Ann a sense of comfort and prevents her from making the tough decisions that will lead to a real change in her thinking about giving up her junk.

How do we politely (and firmly) express to Mary Ann that we don’t want to take her pile, bit by bit, without reversing the progress she’s made in trying to treat her disorder? — LITTLE RECEIVER IN MISSOURI

DEAR RECIPIENT: You will not “fix” Mary Ann. Be glad she is taking steps to help herself.

I do NOT think it would be helpful to “politely express” that you don’t want to take her pile, bit by bit.

Instead, accept the items and then quietly donate them or give them to someone who can use them.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.