Dear Abby: My wife is threatening to leave me if we don’t get a dog

Dear ABBY: I have been with the same man for three years and we have been engaged for a year.

I love him with all my heart, but I just found out through a phone call that he has been fooling around with men from the internet. I also saw some messages in his email.

Does that mean he is bi and never told me? I don’t know what to do. Please help me before I make a mistake. — INJURY IN LOVE

DEAR INJURY: What this means is that your fiancé is either bisexual or gay.

For both of your sakes, tell him you know what happened, because if he’s unfaithful now, marriage vows won’t change that.

Have your doctor test you for STDs, and then get the marriage annulled so you can find a spouse who will be faithful—and he can find a relationship in which he can truly be himself.

Dear ABBY: My wife and I have been married for seven years. It is the second marriage for both of us. We have a good relationship and we love each other.

I told him before we got married that while I like animals, I don’t want a pet. She is an animal lover and is now pressuring me to get a small dog. She hopes I will change my position, but I won’t.

She told me this morning that she might have to leave me and find someone who wants a pet.

I told her that I understand and will accept her decision. Now I need guidance because I understand that a dog is more important to him than our relationship. Please help. – ADOPTED IN INDIANA

Dear Annoyed: I wish you had said why you feel so strongly about not having a (small) dog in your home.

You and your wife need more mediation than I can offer in a letter. A marriage counselor may be able to help you communicate with each other more effectively than you have been.

For her to have given you a semi-ultimatum was wrong, but it tells me that you two might have more problems to solve than getting a dog.

Dear ABBY: Our daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren live in Australia because of our son-in-law’s work.

A grandson is going to be bar mitzvah soon and our daughter is asking us to send her a list of our friends to send invitations to.

Because going to Australia is such a long and expensive trip, we’re sure none of our friends will attend and treat the invitation as a request for a gift.

Should we send her the list she’s asking for? — CONFUSED GRANDPARENTS

DEAR GRANDPARENTS: I am against sending an invitation to anyone who is not a close relative for the reason you stated.

Because of the distance, it WILL looks like an offer for gifts or money.

A diplomatic way to pass on the news of your nephew’s rite of passage would be to share it by word of mouth with friends – who might then volunteer to send the boy something.

Maybe the feedback you get can shape the invite list.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.